GRIT.
Definition of grit: noun firmness of mind or spirit: unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger.
My favorite word is grit. Some people are born with grit and others develop grit. I was born with grit.
Maybe it’s because I’m the oldest child in my family or maybe it’s just because having a “gritty” personality has always been in my genes. But I like to believe that anyone can learn to have grit. And I think it starts in school.
Remember those kids who were so intelligent in school but they never studied? The kids that always got good grades and barely even had to try. We envied them and we secretly wanted to be them.
We spent hours studying, preparing, and analyzing everything and we barely passed that test. While it came natural to the other kids, we came for tutoring before school AND sometimes even after school but we almost didn’t pass chemistry… Even though we worked so much harder than the others. It was in these moments that maybe we decided we weren't as “smart” and we sometimes even went as far as saying we weren’t as “good” as them. But deep down we knew that wasn’t true. We knew we had an undiscovered superpower, we just didn’t know what it was yet.
Spoiler alert: It was grit.
While we were working our asses off trying to understand math and science, we were training our brains on how to be “gritty.” As American academic and psychologist Angela Duckworth puts it in her book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, “as much as talent counts. Effort counts twice.” So maybe we didn’t get the highest score on that chem. test but we sure learned how to persevere and put immense amount of effort into something.
“As much as talent counts. Effort counts twice.”
-Angela Duckworth
Outside of my school environment growing up I was diagnosed with severe health challenges including anorexia, bipolar, and Hodgkin’s Lymphoma cancer. My first experience with mental illness came up when I was in sixth grade. I had recently recovered from falling off a 15-foot zip-line where I landed in push-up position and broke both my arms. My casts were taken off of my arms after 6 months and I was able to get a little control back in my life. I could bathe myself alone again and I could even button my jeans again! With all this freedom and ability to control things in my life, I started to crave more…what else could I control?
I could control what I ate.
I started being aware of what I was eating- counting calories and reading labels constantly. Pretty simple right? Wrong. Then I started exercising a lot. I was running, doing jumping jacks, ab workouts, toe-raises, etc. Then I started restricting certain foods. I told myself, “You can only have that cupcake tonight if you don’t have breakfast or lunch.” Then my parents started to notice something was off with me. I saw my first therapist and even went to a nutritionist. Pretty quickly we learned that I had a very young case of Anorexia Nervosa. I’m 24 years old now but back when I was 11 doctors weren’t seeing as many young girls/boys with anorexia. Unfortunately, today anorexia is VERY common partially from the rising pressures of social media. As my eating disorder progressed, I was in and out of different treatment facilities which was a horrifying time in my life and I know it was for my whole family as well. I’m sorry to them, and I have since made amends and am extremely grateful for each of them.
Moreover, the thing that saved me from anorexia was horses and specifically a horse named Blu. Another key contributor to how I recovered from anorexia though was grit.
Grit played into my success with overcoming anorexia as I could have given up several times along the way. Luckily because of my passion for horses and extreme desire to be around them, I found grit and rose above the fray AKA my eating disorder. Fuck anorexia, (respectfully). We need a whole blog post dedicated to how much I empathize and feel for others going through mental illness…but that will come later.
Flash forward to my senior year of high school- I was a mess. I was experiencing something that not many of my peers could relate to: mania and psychosis. I was a young adult who was placed into a psychiatric unit (2 times) because I was experiencing paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations. My grasp on reality was fleeting and my brain was experiencing something I was very unfamiliar with. This needs a separate blog post as well as I am sitting here crying and typing while realizing this is still one of the hardest times of my life to talk about. I have so much I still need to process from what happened to scared little 17-year-old Brescia. But I need to communicate how on my third time of reaching psychosis I was aware of what was about to happen to me, and I was fighting it with grit.
In the face of great hardship, I knew that the only way around my psychosis was through it. And when I turned 18 I decided to check into a mental health facility for 30 days. I was away from my family, the normal world, and my friends. It was terrifying of course but what scared me even more was thinking I would never have my brain back. This mental health facility changed my life, and it was through passion and love towards myself (grit) that I came out on top after 30 days. I was diagnosed with bipolar at this facility and have never experience psychosis since. I learned valuable lessons about myself and how to take care of my mental health during this time. Gratitude towards my family for helping me receive this treatment would be an understatement.
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After working through my bipolar challenges, I went off to college at Northern Arizona University and studied Creative Media and Film. I even studied abroad in Viterbo, Italy during college (a true highlight of my college career). And then I came home from Italy…
I had a routine physical with my doctor and she found a lump on the side of my neck. I wondered how I didn’t notice that, but how often do we look at our necks in the mirror? It’s usually our faces or bodies, right?! I had a surgical biopsy that tested this area hoping to determine if it was a problem or not. I thought, “no way do I have cancer, that’s the kind of stuff you only see in movies.” But the results came back and it was cancer.
We will talk about what being diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma cancer was like on a separate blog post but let me try to sum it up in one word: earth-shattering. Truly.
Through 6 rounds of chemotherapy, loosing lots of my hair, energy, strength, etc. I beat cancer. And the most important thing to take away from this is that without grit and a positive mindset, I would have still beat cancer but I would have also let it destroy me. And don’t get me wrong, there were days where I fucking felt like shit. And that’s okay. But overall, I chose to remain optimistic and hopeful and there’s something to be said for the fighters.
The same girl that fought for her grades in school, fought for her life with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma cancer.
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We have to find passions, reasons, and callings in this world that give us the strength to want to be “gritty.” We have to give meaning to what we do and find what brings us the absolute most joy and then we do everything in our power to work towards it. Behind every health challenge I have overcome there has been a purpose. I knew that if I beat anorexia, I would get to ride horses. I knew if I beat bipolar, I would get to have a happy and successful life. I knew if I beat cancer, I would get to go off and one day and fulfill my dream of being a true storyteller. Having a purpose alone though isn’t enough. We must find it in is to have grit. And if you’re still not convinced, read Angela Duckworth’s book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance.
“I won’t just have a job; I’ll have a calling. I’ll challenge myself every day. When I get knocked down, I’ll get back up. I may not be the smartest person in the room, but I’ll strive to be the grittiest.”
-Angela Duckworth